If I were you

When if not now? I know you thought about it a lot of times before. But what are you doing instead? Nothing. I mean, I saw ugly before. Let me tell you this, ugly can still have personality. But you’re just ugly. From the inside to the outside. How can you still hold on? If I were you, I would no longer walk amongst the living. We’ve been trying to ignore you, not to look at you, not to talk to you, not to read what you’ve been writing, but nonetheless you are still here! Why don’t you give up? That would even take a lot of pressure from the people around you and from you too! You totally humiliate us all with your presence. And you still show up sometimes, you really do. We can see you, we can hear you, but we do feel nothing. What is this? Are you even a human being? Do yourself and at least all of us a favor and vanish into the night. You’re helplessly hoping and wordlessly watching. There’s no place for you here, just room that we have to share with someone like you from time to time. We don’t want that any longer. There are so many ways, silent and loud, to end this all. So i’m here to make a suggestion.

Pick a date. Get up and watch the sun rise, while smoking a cigarette and drinking a cup of fresh brewed coffee. Dress up and go outside. Then take a walk through the city maybe, think about the good times you once had and about the people you’re still in love with. Don’t try to imagine if there is anyone out there, who might think of you the way you are thinking about them. It’ll only hurt and emotional pain will not be the topic on this particular day. Not today. This is the day of Relief. For all of us.

When you’re ready, when silence has grown up in your head and calmness is overall present, then go back home. Close the door, open the windows and undress yourself. Turn on some of your favorite music. From here, it’s like going back to what brought you to life, it’s the return to birth and not a step towards the death. Take a deep breath and make the vertical cut. Then close your eyes and be redeemed. Freedom will be your Kingdom.

If only I were you, or – if only you were me.